Taking it to my Community

[Having written this post and worked through the thinking, I feel like I've figured out what I need to do here: try the later bedtime and, failing that, give up and let things be. But I'm leaving this post up as evidence of what exhaustion and frustration can do to a person. Enjoy.]


Despite my last post about giving in to the madness, letting it roll over me and coping as best I can, I have decided to ask you, the people I know (mostly) and whose advice I am likely to trust, a sleep question. I am NOT obsessing about this (or perhaps the fact that I have to make that disclaimer means that I am, in fact, obsessing) but I feel very much that seeking input from my circle is better than seeking it in those damn sleep books or from those nutty women who seem to live for the Baby Center sleep threads.

So. If you have any memories of your baby's sleep habits, or what you did about them, or if any of this triggers memories, or if you're going through something similar, please for the love of all that is rested let me know.

Bedtime with the baby has become a total boondoggle.

He wakes up 5-10 times over the course of about two hours, sometimes longer. He's 12 weeks old. For most people I'd say this is a sign of an overtired baby, but he's not cranky or fussy at all before bedtime.

Here's what we're dealing with: G's last nap ends anywhere between 4-5:30, if he takes one. If he doesn't, this whole thing is totally fucked because he's going to be hard to put down regardless, poor little scattered guy. But if he takes one, we base bedtime on his latest wake-up time. Usually, bedtime is some time between 6-7.

Lately, though, it doesn't seem to matter when we put him to sleep - he won't actually, really, go to sleep for up to two hours. He often goes to sleep relatively easily (say, with a half hour of nursing and maybe one extra put-down) at first, but then wakes up after 30-40 minutes like it was a nap and fights sleep for the next hour. You pick him up and he looks around the room and tries to sit up and fights being held against your body, but he's yawning the whole time, and then closing his eyes, but sleeping very lightly after a lot of work on my part. But then five minutes later he's up. Again and again and again.

So we're trying to figure out what to do. This has been going on for about two weeks and it is driving me completely ape shit. Should he have a later bedtime? What if he wakes up from his last good nap at 4 and refuses to take another? Certainly he can't make it 3 or 4 hours awake. If I put him down and he wakes up a half hour later, should I not fuss over it and bring him out of his room as if it were a nap, even if he seems so tired, in order to save myself some struggle? Or should we just keep trying to put him to sleep?

Also, a caveat: he started rolling front-to-back last week and I just watched him awake in his crib for 20 minutes tonight, attempting to roll back-to-front. So I suppose that could be it (the whole thing where they practice this stuff when they would normally be sleeping, and it keeps their brains awake) but he's not even three months old! Rolling back-to-front is an older baby thing, right?

Also, part II: I am really quite frightened of the prospect that he's trying to roll back-to-front because that means we have to stop swaddling and I have spent way too much money and used too much duct tape to give up now - I tried just doing one arm out last week and he didn't nap AT ALL. I shudder to think how it will be if I have to remove the whole damn thing. We tried tummy sleeping but that didn't seem to help much since he hates tummy time and would just get really mad.

Also, part III: One of the reasons I am a little desperate is that G is also not napping very well. I take stupidly long walks with him in the front carrier if he is having a bad nap day, to try to get him some rest. But that leaves me exhausted.

Anyway, I feel a little silly writing this post. The writing of it helps me feel better, helps me feel like I've at least tossed my woes into the air in the hopes that someone will offer some bit of advice or comfort or camaraderie. There is probably a lot going on here (three-month growth spurt, the rolling thing, some amount of overtiredness, a timing issue), and we should probably just keep dealing with it, working on giving him good naps so he doesn't get fried and just taking bedtime as it comes.

But please, if you have any thoughts, SHARE THEM.

Thanks.