The first month

Jupiter reaches his one-month birthday on Saturday and I am, thankfully, starting to get the hang of this mothering thing. I finally feel like I am starting to adjust to the sleeping schedule, the baby care, understanding what he needs and how to give it to him...as well as the little things like getting myself fed and showered. Jay has been a tremendous partner, taking on most of the housework and cooking duties until he went back to work this week. He's working partial days now but Jupiter has started sleeping regularly enough that I have been able to start taking care of some things around the house. And blogging. I can't believe I haven't made an entry in so long, aside from posting our birth story.

Already we feel miles ahead of where we were a few weeks ago. We have had to make so many decisions and experimented with so many different ways of caring for our boy. Should we use a pacifier? When should we give a bottle for the first time? How much do we let him cry before going to get him? What does it mean when he cries? Should he sleep with us or on his own? In the co-sleeper or in his crib? When do we start using cloth diapers? How often do we bathe him? How long should he feed on each breast? Should we start doing tummy time? Does he need to be swaddled all the time to sleep or just when he's fussy? I could go on...

Certainly, one of the trends I've noticed through this process of elimination and learning is the separation that can occur between practicality and ideology. I thought I would never use a pacifier, for example. Having a baby with what seem like intense sucking needs, however, changes things a bit. I am not comfortable being a human pacifier, especially when there have been several instances when he wants to suck but does not want milk. I would put him to breast and he would suck for five seconds and then writhe, push off, and cry. He would open his mouth again to suckle, and the same thing would happen when I put him to breast again. At first he wouldn't take a pacifier - we think most of them are designed to please babies who are used to bottle nipples rather than human ones. But eventually, over the course of several attempts by his desperate parents during long fussy days, he accepted it. And now when I know he's fed and dry, it really helps keep him happy and lulls him off to sleep when he's overtired and fighting it. We don't use it all the time - he never has it unless he's having trouble soothing himself and we don't anticipate him using it much past six or eight months - but we use it when we need it and I think all three of us are much happier.

Also with sleeping arrangements. I want to use the co-sleeper to keep him close at night. But I can't nurse in bed until he has better head control - our mattress is too soft and we roll in towards each other. I also can't nurse sitting up in bed at night without the threat of dozing off - I have to come downstairs where I can turn on a light and, on particularly sleepy nights, the television. And now that he's getting a bit bigger, he's getting to be a noisier sleeper. Any woman who has kids knows that every little noise the little ones make at night can wake her, and my sleep has suffered for it. Even when he's just shifting position, he has started to make little noises - grunts, sighs, wheezes, coos - and I wake up, ready for action. So today we're trying a nap or two in the crib in his room, to see how he does, as we consider shifting him from our room to his at night. Once he's two months old or so I might bring him into our bed for nighttime feedings and keep him there until morning, but for now we don't think there's much difference in his being two or twenty feet away from us.

So many decisions. But we feel good about things so far. Jupiter has grown and filled out considerably - more than three pounds over his birth weight already. He's getting such cute cheeks and little sausage-y arms and legs. This rapid growth has meant that we have had to deal with a couple of 48-hour growth spurt fuss fests, but other than that he has been a good eater and a good sleeper. And, of course, he is just too stinkin' cute. I have posted photos to Facebook and emailed several to friends and relatives, but I'll start posting some here as well.

Thanks to everyone who has sent their well-wishes, food, and gifts. We are so thankful.